a little causalgia, a bit more dysgraphia

last summer all i could do to keep myself alive was lay in bed. i can count the changes that have happened since then on one hand. we can sit here forever in silence because we both want to say the same thing to eachother but neither of us can do it. the world doesn't fit me. sometimes i need to hear you say "everything is okay. you are safe." but all i can do is put my hand between an aching head and an aching world and hope that soon the tides will change forever and we will all be washed ashore. this ship was meant to sink.

"i want to show you all of my jealousy and insecurity and have you not care."